Ruminations

Author Events

Posted on August 9, 2014 by Linda

Books are really stacking up these days for me to read! But what I’ve determined will be next on my list is the following:

My Salinger Year, by Joanna Rakoff

On June 24th, Copperfield’s presented author Joanna Rakoff to talk about her new book (a copy of which I, of course, bought and had signed). There were not many people there – which is always kind of cool because it seems much more personal and I like being able to speak with the author. She was a darling person and I really enjoyed her talk. The book sounds wonderful. As she talked about it, it brought to my mind how it was for me back in the early 1980s when I first went to work in San Francisco. There was a personnel agency, kind of prestigious and glamorous-feeling; lots of antique furniture and low-lit lamps – I remember one time that, before they sent me on a job interview, they shined my shoes! Obviously very different than the agency Ms. Rakoff was describing – but hearing about it did bring back certain memories for me. I look forward to reading this book!

Then on July 30th, author Deborah Harkness was at Copperfield’s. And this time, half the store was taken up with folding chairs and it was packed; I had to sit in nearly the back row even though I arrived about 20 minutes early! Ms. Harkness is the author of the All Souls Trilogy, the first two of which I previously have read. She has recently finished this, the third book in the trilogy. I remember when I read these books – I found the first one at the library and picked it up just on a whim. I really, really liked the book and when I saw there was a sequel I quickly checked that one out and read it – but to my dismay, I learned that the third and final book had not yet been written!

And so now it has, and I not only purchased that book (and had it signed) but I bought the first two books as well (and also had those signed) since I never owned them in the first place and I liked them so much. I intend to re-read the first two books prior to reading the new one. And I am eagerly anticipating it! These are very fun books and the author is obviously an extremely intelligent, knowledgeable and creative individual. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing her in person. The only negative to the evening at all was the fact that I had come down with a really nasty cold and did not feel very well at all. But I loved these books enough that I wanted to do it anyway! I was relieved though to come home and take myself to bed afterwards. But I am glad I have these books to look forward to!

Deborah Harkness’ All Souls Trilogy:


A DISCOVERY OF WITCHES	SHADOW OF NIGHT	THE BOOK OF LIFE

Happy reading!

(And my last name ain’t BOOK for nothing!)

Posted in 2014, Books, Ruminations | Tagged books | Comments Off

An Asimov Summer

Posted on August 9, 2014 by Linda

I didn’t know what I was getting into when I first decided to start reading Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series. As I’ve mentioned, I was very pleased to find his books so delightful to read; he is quite the storyteller. And it’s also been interesting to read his autobiography, concurrently with his fiction, as he talks about the times when he was actually writing some of these things.

So around the end of May/beginning of June I began this journey, starting with Foundation and then continuing as follows. Most of these books I borrowed from the library, but I own a few of them. Here is the order in which I read them:

Foundation (1951)
Foundation and Empire (1952)
Second Foundation (1953)
Foundation’s Edge (1982)
Foundation and Earth (1986)
Prelude to Foundation (1988)
I, Robot (1950)
Robot Visions (1990)
The Caves of Steel (1954)
The Naked Sun (1957)
The Robots of Dawn (1983)
Robots and Empire (1985)
The Stars, Like Dust (1951)
The Currents of Space (1952)
Pebble in the Sky (1950) [currently reading]
Forward the Foundation (1993) [the last of this “series” which I will be reading once I finish Pebble in the Sky]

It is interesting how he wrote these books at different times and then later tied them all together. There is a suggested reading order based on the general overall story timeline. And then there is what was, apparently, Asimov’s preferred order of reading. Here is a site which lists the books in that order, as well as in publication order, and in storyline order: Asimov/wiki/seriesguide.

And here someone created a whole timeline chronology of events from these novels: Robots/Foundation Timeline. There is a lot of really interesting and fun info online about Asimov and his books. A lot of it can be found on “Asimov Online.”

And in addition to Asimov’s books, his “foundation” story was continued by some other writers (to whom Asimov gave permission):

Oh and I see there is another related book mentioned: Continue reading →

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August 2014

Posted on August 2, 2014 by Linda

August, from the Très Riches Heures du Duc de Berry showing a group of travelers and the Duc’s Château d’Étampes in the background

August was originally named Sextili in Latin, because it was the sixth month in the original ten-month Roman calendar under Romulus in 753 BC. In 8 BC it was renamed in honor of Augustus [from Wikipedia]. It’s kind of amazing how many things we got from the ancient Romans. We have so many links to the distant past.

Some strange or interesting facts about August:

The Anglo-Saxons called it Weod monath (weed month).
In the U.S., it’s National Goat Cheese Month.
The International Day of the Disappeared is Aug. 30th.
August is (strangely) National Catfish Month.
Also strange, it is Peach Month (since 1982).

And here is a place where you can find lots of other weird holidays (including National Underwear Day on August 5).

As for me, I tend to think of August in terms of the BEACH. And I am hoping to soon be taking my son on our summer vacation down south. (The fact that there is a beach only a couple of miles from our house doesn’t really count – the beaches of Northern California are often pretty cold!)

So with that “theme” in mind, here is this month’s 31-point-plan. And why not plan a summer vacation:

HAPPY SUMMER! (Too bad it’s nearly over.)

Posted in 2014, Onward & Upward, Ruminations | Tagged art, Balance, creativity, FUN, history, holidays, humor | Comments Off

July synopsis

Posted on July 22, 2014 by Linda

I haven’t had much time to do any writing this month. June 30th started me on month-long roll of running to various doctor appointments, with a dental appointment in the morning and an MRI of my shoulder in the afternoon. And I never would’ve believed that anything could be worse than the dentist – but the MRI was excruciatingly painful, just because of my shoulder being so painful and the difficulty keeping still in one position for periods of time. It was rather brutal.

Then on July 1st, I was scheduled for an eye exam, but got a phone call in the morning informing me that the MRI didn’t turn out well and I needed to come back in and do it over! I ended up having to reschedule with the eye doctor because this time I wanted to take plenty of pain meds and a muscle relaxer before subjecting myself to the MRI again and there’s a question about whether the medications might interfere with my vision. And I am glad that I did that because again, despite the meds, it was still brutally painful. This time though they were able to get clear results.

On July 9th I learned that the prognosis was likely rotator cuff tendinitis. And I decided that the best treatment might be a steroid injection, so the following week I made myself an appointment to go have that done.

Prior to that though, on July 11th, I had my eye doctor appointment. And (no surprise) I was prescribed bifocals. I’ve had perfect eyesight my whole life – until now. Oh well…

On July 15th I went in for my shoulder injection. At first, everything felt fine. THEN… the anesthetic wore off. And for the next 2 or 3 days I was in absolute AGONY. It was pretty awful. I could not go to work or do much of anything. But then it did begin to get better. A LOT BETTER.

Being unable to work, I found myself working on some things that I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I decided to work on my “Oddbirds” project and did some more writing. I ended up getting a bit silly in the process. It was fun.

And I started another “Frog” picture. And got it all sketched out and put a watercolor wash over it. (I really should take a watercolor class! I’ve found this mentioned repeatedly in my journal.)

The first day after the injection, my sister was feeling sorry for me and she handed me a book of hers that she thought I might enjoy:

The Principals of Uncertainty by Maira Kalman.

So I read it and I did, indeed, enjoy it. An adult picture book; what a cool thing.

And then I started thinking about this poem I wrote years ago and I decided it might be fun to illustrate it. After reading it I decided it needs a little bit of revision, but I still like it and it might be a fun project; one for another time though – I have many more projects that I need to finish first!

I finished the Gorey puzzle that I began on July 4th – this was a really fun one. I don’t know why I like puzzles so much these days, but I do (if they are the right kind of puzzle at least).

So things have been bad and good. I watched the movie Ender’s Game on July 27th – it was good. Not quite as good as the book, but that isn’t surprising.

I have not done my walking in a couple of weeks now, but it’s hard to be motivated when there’s so much pain.

But my shoulder is beginning to be much, much better. And that makes a huge difference – with everything.

And finally, IT IS RAINING – IN JULY!!! Who ever heard of such a thing? (In Northern California that is.) Weirdness…

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July

Posted on July 4, 2014 by Linda

July, from the Très Riches Heures du Duc de Berry

The month of July, it seems, got its name from Julius Caesar, it being the month of his birth.

And this same Julius Caesar also created the Julian Calendar back in 46 BC.

Most of us here in the USA, of course, think of July as the month when we celebrate our country’s independence. Actually, most of us these days probably think very little about our country’s beginnings; it is simply a holiday meant to be enjoyed. But there is nothing wrong with tradition even if we sometimes forget what the tradition is all about.

In this Rosh Hashanah greeting card from the early 20th century, Russian Jews, packs in hand, gaze at the American relatives beckoning them to the United States. Over two million Jews would flee the pogroms of the Russian Empire to the safety of the US from 1881 to 1924.

I have lately been reading Isaac Asimov‘s autobiography entitled “In Memory Yet Green.” Reading about his childhood as a Russian-Jewish immigrant in the 1920s is simply fascinating. Here is an interesting article from the viewpoint of the women immigrants: Eastern European Immigrants in the United States (from Jewish Women’s Archive). Hard times for a lot of people; it is hard to even imagine what so many of them went through. But FREEDOM can be worth a lot. It is interesting to learn what America has meant to people from other places.

Regarding the 4th of July, I have found this interesting bit of history: on the 4th of July, 1898, Swami Vivekananda was traveling with some American disciples in Kashmir, and as part of a domestic agreement for the celebration of the day—the anniversary of the American Declaration of Independence — he prepared the following poem, to be read aloud at the early breakfast. (And apparently, his death – or resurrection, as some would prefer to call it – took place on the 4th of July, 1902):

TO THE FOURTH OF JULY

Behold, the dark clouds melt away,
That gathered thick at night, and hung
So like a gloomy pall above the earth!
Before thy magic touch, the world
Awakes. The birds in chorus sing.
The flowers raise their star-like crowns—
Dew-set, and wave thee welcome fair.
The lakes are opening wide in love
Their hundred thousand lotus-eyes
To welcome thee, with all their depth.
All hail to thee, thou Lord of Light!
A welcome new to thee, today,
O Sun! Today thou sheddest Liberty!
Bethink thee how the world did wait,
And search for thee, through time and clime.
Some gave up home and love of friends,
And went in quest of thee, self-banished,
Through dreary oceans, through primeval forests,
Each step a struggle for their life or death;
Then came the day when work bore fruit,
And worship, love, and sacrifice,
Fulfilled, accepted, and complete.
Then thou, propitious, rose to shed
The light of Freedom on mankind.
Move on, O Lord, in thy resistless path!
Till thy high noon o’erspreads the world.
Till every land reflects thy light,
Till men and women, with uplifted head,
Behold their shackles broken, and
Know, in springing joy, their life renewed!

—From the Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda

This is interesting: Freedom House – a “clear voice for democracy and freedom around the world”

FREEDOM

Washington, DC

New York City

Freedom is wonderful; let’s not forget, however, that with freedom comes responsibility. (And here’s an interesting discussion about that: Freedom & Responsibility — An Existential Overview.)

FINALLY – it is time for another month’s “31-point-plan.” And here it is:

Happy 4th!

Posted in 2014, Ruminations | Tagged books, community, history, holidays, philosophy | Comments Off

Catching up

Posted on June 29, 2014 by Linda

Well, luckily, not much seems to have happened in June worth writing about – unlike May, for instance. Mainly, I have been struggling to keep up with an unusual amount of work, what with this new client for which I have to work on location one morning a week, and another client who is out of town all summer and has left me with additional responsibilities while he is gone – and I am also having to run to appointments all the time with the acupuncturist, the chiropractor, and various other things; and the rest of the time I am struggling to deal with pain.

As for my next “move,” I am scheduled to have an MRI on my shoulder tomorrow. While I don’t want there to be anything really wrong, it would also be good if something was identified that could then be fixed, because otherwise this is starting to feel rather hopeless, like I will be in pain forever. And that is simply unacceptable.

I have still been reading a lot; Isaac Asimov has been keeping me busy since I discovered how much I like the “Foundation” books. I am also now reading his “robot” books since there are connections between those and the later “Foundation” stories. And in trying to locate some of those books, I ended up buying a copy of an autobiography he wrote back in 1979, which I am really enjoying. He was a very interesting individual. I don’t know why I have never before read any of his books, especially since I have always loved science fiction on the whole. I think I must have thought they would be too “scientific” for me to understand or something; but they are not, they are wonderful.

And something that I’ve been enjoying here and there (although I don’t drink much or very often any more), is this wine I found recently. It’s pretty good wine for a really good price. (And I really just like the label.)

And I now have only a few posts I want to write to “catch up.” Here are some I have just finished:

“Blast from the Past” (6/2/14)
“Vote” (6/3/14)
Birthdays (6/28/14)

And I think that about does it for the month of June. Hopefully I will not get behind again!

(Onward & Upward)

Posted in 2014, Ruminations | Tagged books, pain, writing | Comments Off

Birthdays

Posted on June 28, 2014 by Linda

Thursday was my brother’s wife’s birthday – and here is the card I made for her:

Card front

Card-inside

And today is my sister’s birthday. And while we, by mutual agreement, don’t do much for birthdays these days, I always want to do a little something anyway. To begin with, I made her this card:

Card front

Card-Inside

And to stay with the “theme,” I also got her this book – which has been on my “wish list” for several years; I figure if I get it for her, I will also be able to read it!

When Elephants Weep: The Emotional Lives of Animals, by Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson and Susan McCarthy:

From dancing squirrels to bashful gorillas to spiteful killer whales, Masson and coauthor Susan McCarthy bring forth fascinating anecdotes and illuminating insights that offer powerful proof of the existence of animal emotion. Chapters on love, joy, anger, fear, shame, compassion, and loneliness are framed by a provocative re-evaluation of how we treat animals, from hunting and eating them to scientific experimentation. Forming a complete and compelling picture of the inner lives of animals, When Elephants Weep assures that we will never look at animals in the same way again.

Happy birthday, ladies!

Posted in 2014, Ruminations | Tagged art, books, family | Comments Off

Getting behind again…

Posted on June 22, 2014 by Linda

I keep getting behind on my posts so that I end up spending several days writing things and then publishing them retroactively (using the date that I first wrote about it in my journal).

So the new posts I’ve written over the last week or so are as follows:

3-16-14 (thoughts about God)
4-27-14 (about art, etc.)
“Bird by Bird“(about Anne Lamott)
Pain and Tarot
Bad Behavior
5-5-14 (my aunt’s birthday)
Petaluma Chorale
Musings about Joseph Campbell
Daryl Gregory

And I still have several more posts in the works but will probably not get those posted here until a few more days have gone by. I wish I could remember to keep this up on a regular basis, but it keeps slipping by me – time just slides on by.

One good thing though: I have finally started my daily walking again (after how many months???). So, one challenge at a time I guess.

(Onward & upward.)

Posted in 2014, Onward & Upward, Ruminations | Tagged goals, TIME, writing | Comments Off

VOTE

Posted on June 4, 2014 by Linda

I did, but unfortunately not very many people in my precinct bothered to – final count was about 41%. Not good, people!

Sonoma County Election Results

Posted in 2014 | Tagged politics, responsibility | Comments Off

Blast from the Past

Posted on June 2, 2014 by Linda

A couple of weeks ago, I discovered a message on my Facebook page that I might have never even noticed if my sister hadn’t told me she had sent me something there. I rarely even look at Facebook much these days. But what I found is a message from a friend that I have not seen or heard from in nearly 20 years, ever since I left Mill Valley and moved to the Kansas City area in 1995. I had even tried to find this friend myself at times but never could find him. Well, he found me!

So I was then invited to meet him and some other “old” friends at a restaurant in Novato yesterday for lunch. He didn’t tell the others that I would be there and, amazingly, they recognized and remembered me – what a trip. And despite all the years, I would swear most of them looked remarkably the same as before.

It was fun hearing the stories and remembering the things we used to do. One thing we used to do a lot of is to drink a lot of beer – but these days I guess we’ve all learned some moderation. I had my limit of two beers and nobody else was drinking much more than that, if at all.

You know I’ve wondered at times why it seems to be that I have all these different phases of my life where there never seems to be any connecting threads between them. It’s like closing one phase and starting over again brand new. I left the Bay Area and ended that “phase” when I moved to Kansas, where I met new people, got married, had a child – and it was just a different life; I did not keep in touch with anyone from before. Then I moved back to California and left all that behind. Started my life again here in Petaluma – with all new people. That seems to have been a definite pattern with me. Never carrying any connecting threads with me.

So it felt really good to reconnect with these people; as if nothing – all these last 20 years – had come between. Kind of strange, at least for me. I wonder if any of this is due to being moved so much when I was a kid – always going somewhere else, being the “new kid” at school over and over. Losing friends. And I just never was able somehow to carry on friendships over time and distance like some people seem to do. And it’s almost like I don’t ever expect others to remember me after I’m gone. I’m not sure why that is either.

But I did have a really nice time yesterday and I hope to be able to stay in touch; friends are a good thing to have!

Posted in 2014, Onward & Upward, Ruminations | Tagged community, friends, FUN, spirit | Comments Off

JUNE (already?)

Posted on June 1, 2014 by Linda

June, from the Très riches heures du duc de Berry

The Latin name for June is Junius. Ovid offers multiple etymologies for the name in the Fasti, a poem about the Roman calendar. The first is that the month is named after the Roman goddess Juno, the goddess of marriage and the wife of the supreme deity Jupiter; the second is that the name comes from the Latin word iuniores, meaning “younger ones”, as opposed to maiores (“elders”) for which the preceding month May (Maius) may be named. According to Plutarch, the month of June is favorable for weddings.

In Iceland, folklore says that if you bathe naked in the morning dew on the morning of June 24, you are supposed to keep aging at bay for longer.

What came to mind for me is the idea that weddings are kind of fairy-tale-like. What bride doesn’t feel like a fairy princess on her wedding day? (And then – real life sets in.) My personal opinion of marriage is that it is definitely a fairy tale – or some kind of myth that so many of us buy into. (And enough said about that!) Here is my drawing for June:

31-Point-Plan

And here are a few more of my own wedding photos – and it was a magical, fairy-tale-like day for me – and I will always remember it.

Posted in 2014, Onward & Upward, Ruminations | Tagged art, Balance, creativity, history, magic | Comments Off

a bride…

Posted on June 1, 2014 by Linda

This gallery contains 6 photos.

August 25, 1996

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Movies (and books, of course)

Posted on May 31, 2014 by Linda

Last night I watched a couple of movies on HBO, the first was called “Kingdom of Heaven,” and starred Orlando Bloom (who I think is such a cutie). I also like Liam Neeson, who also starred in the film.

Siege of Acre (1189–91)

The movie took place during the time of the Crusades, which is very interesting, but leaves me always with the clear sense of what a bloody, violent history we have had – always men killing each other. At least things are not as bad now as they have been in our bloody, bloody past. But do we ever really learn?

The other film I saw last night was animated, “Battle for Terra,” which was about humans in the future who, after having ruined our own planet, plan to take over another planet and, in so doing, wipe out that planet’s peaceful inhabitants. In essence, it explored the idea of whether human beings have the right to live at all costs, even if it means destroying another race. (So there is parallel between these two movies it seems.)

“Avatar” now comes to mind, wherein human beings again try to wipe out a peaceful civilization – this time in the name of the Almighty Dollar. (I really loved Avatar and bought a copy of that one to keep.)

I wonder if there aren’t in fact some human beings now who would believe that we do have the right to exist at all costs. During the Crusades, for instance, people really did believe that God condoned wiping out everyone who was a nonbeliever. Wars certainly do continue, and there are still those who believe it is God’s will to destroy others. So do we really learn? Apparently not all of us – but hopefully at least some of us do. I believe violence is based on ignorance. And the same can be said of religion. We are largely still a bunch of children who believe the universe centers around us.

But thank goodness for movies – and books! And, speaking of which – I recently decided I needed to read Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series, so I bought the original trilogy. After finishing with Daryl Gregory’s books now, I am starting Foundation.

I have also started reading another book I recently ordered (in order to ascertain just how I might teach Dalton here at home myself): The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home, by Susan Wise Bauer and Jessie Wise. Hopefully this will prove instructive and enlightening!

Posted in 2014, Books, Ruminations | Tagged books, entertainment, Fiction, history, insanity, movies, religion, SciFi | Comments Off

Daryl Gregory

Posted on May 31, 2014 by Linda

I am on our local bookstore’s mailing list and get notified of different events that are happening in their store. Recently, when I saw a notice that writer Daryl Gregory was going to be there for a book-signing, I recognized his name and looked to see if I had a book by him – and indeed, I did: Pandemonium, which was apparently his first book. But I read it long enough ago that I didn’t remember it much at all. So I decided to re-read it (it’s fairly short) before going down to see him. He was very entertaining and interesting to hear talk. And I really enjoyed speaking to him briefly. He was tickled to hear that I was reading Pandemonium TWICE. And I ended up buying copies of 3 more of his books, including his latest. And he signed them all.

Join us for our Brave New Worlds series starting off with author Daryl Gregory on Friday, May 2, 7pm in our Petaluma store.

Daryl Gregory is the remarkably inventive and award-winning author of genre-mixing novels, stories, and comics.

His first novel, Pandemonium, won the Crawford Award and was nominated for a World Fantasy Award. His other novels include the Philip K. Dick award finalist The Devil’s Alphabet and Raising Stony Mayhall, which was named one of the best books of the year by the Library Journal.

His newest science fiction book, Afterparty, is a mind-bending and violent chase across Canada and the US, a marvelous mix of William Gibson’s Neuromancer, Philip K. Dick’s Ubik, and perhaps a bit of Peter Watts’s Starfish: a last chance to save civilization, or die trying.

Lyda Rose, a patient in a detention facility, has a dark secret: she was one of the original scientists who developed the new brain-altering drug called Numinous, which makes you religious. With the help of an ex-government agent and an imaginary, drug-induced doctor, Lyda sets out to find the other scientists in a quest to set things right.

I finished my second reading of Pandemonium on the 3rd (and yes, I really enjoyed it – and I think I caught some subtle nuances that might’ve escaped me the first reading – like where he says “One thing is clear: Jungians loved yargon.“) I then started his next book, The Devil’s Alphabet, finishing that a few days later on the 9th and then reading Raising Stony Mayhall (and I especially loved this one). I then proceeded to read the latest of his wonderful novels, Afterparty, which I finished on May 29th.

Daryl Gregory is obviously a very intelligent man and I think he is a superb writer. His characters are so well-written that you feel you are in the story alongside them and you really care about what happens to them. He is keenly perceptive about human relationships and even though these stories are about strange, even bizarre situations, there is so much basic human truth contained within them that they are just wonderful.

The Devil’s Alphabet was set in the South, and because I spent a lot of years growing up back there, I could really relate to many things in this story. There was one section that made me stop and reflect for a minute:

“Pax laughed, and then they lapsed into silence. They sat without talking for several minutes. In the north people didn’t just sit, Pax realized. Not unless they were on the bus or trapped in a waiting room. You said what you needed to say, then you moved on. At some point in the past dozen years he’d stopped noticing the Yankee rush to fill the silence.”

I could relate to many of the themes in these books; for instance, how it was to be brought up in the south in a religious family and having to come to terms with that. Religion comes into play in various places in his stories. When I saw him at Copperfield’s in fact he said that his latest book was an obvious “coming out of the closet” as an atheist and he wondered how his parents were going to deal with that. And finally, I will say that he has a wonderful, if slightly odd, sense of humor and I very much like that. I will certainly look to read any future books of his.

Posted in 2014, Books, Ruminations | Tagged books, Fiction, FUN, writing | Comments Off

Strange, stranger, and yet stranger still…

Posted on May 17, 2014 by Linda

5/17/14

Two things are on my mind first thing this morning: The first thing is that it has become quite clear to me that physical therapy is making me worse. I was in no pain yesterday until after physical therapy and not only was I in a lot of pain then, but I still am. It feels like I have completely retrogressed and I am not happy about that. I have been wondering about this ever since the start of therapy but I am quite sure now. I was doing just fine with the chiropractor and acupuncturist and now it’s like all that work has been UNDONE. I am just so sick of this!

And as if that isn’t enough – yesterday afternoon I got a text message and strange voice mail from my x-husband. He was in some kind of distress and indicated that perhaps ‘I could help him get some perspective.’ Huh??? So I called him. And it took a while before I could understand what exactly he was talking about, he was kind of hysterical and it was all very convoluted. He was at the hospital, but I couldn’t make heads or tails about why or what he was calling me for. UNTIL I finally understood that he was not a patient at the hospital, but was there because a woman he had previously dated had just given birth – to his child! OMG

So he was talking about the fact that MY son now has a new sibling, a half-brother. WHAT??? I asked him not to tell my son yet – first of all, Dalton might not be too pleased about his father suddenly having a new baby when he has never been much of a father to him. And is the mother going to keep this child? From what I hear, she is sort of a sad mess – which makes this a rather sad tragedy where the child is concerned. I imagine I will have to tell Dalton – preferably before his dad blurts it all out to him. But I think it would be best to first find out what is going to happen. Goodness, what a weird thing…

He sent me photos. Is there a resemblance to Dalton’s baby pictures?

Here is Taylor Allan, born 5-16-14, 20″ long, 7 lbs, 15 oz., hazel eyes.

And here is Dalton Lee, born 2-3-2000, 20.2 inches long, 8 lbs, 5 oz., and very deep blue eyes.

With Grandma, in the hospital.

Home from the hospital.

Baptism day

My angel

Hard to believe it’s been nearly 14 1/2 years since my angel was born.

On the day I wrote this post, I was inspired to pull out all the baby pictures. And here is one that I came across that I have no memory of – but which caused my sister and I to howl with laughter. This must have been a STRANGE day! LOL

With dad and Alex, the (fat) cat.

Yep, strange all around…

And I think I will post more of my son’s baby pictures – to start with, this is one of my favorites.

And, strange as it is, this experience has simply brought it all back to me – all the joys and sorrows. But oh how I love my son. 🙂

Posted in 2014, Onward & Upward, Ruminations | Tagged children, memories, pain, weird | Comments Off

Musings About Joseph Campbell

Posted on May 14, 2014 by Linda

So I’ve decided that I do want to write about Hero with a Thousand Faces that I recently read. Joseph Campbell wrote this book back in 1949 – right smack in the middle of the twentieth century. I found myself trying to see how things might have changed over the last 50+ years in terms of how Campbell saw things.

He writes about the fact that our modern civilization has lost all connection to our mythology and how such symbolism in the past nurtured our society and gave us ways to transcend our individual lives – to grasp our connection to the universe and see into the real meaning of life; there are no mysteries left; we see everything in black and white reality. He says that our biggest mistake was to try to interpret our mythology as fact-based history – such as Christianity has done with the Bible. By so doing, it robs us of the true meaning and usefulness of those stories. It has created a totally different thing: where the goal of mythology is to aid us in becoming emotionally and psychologically mature and enlightened human beings, we are left to muddle around in our immaturity, short-sightedness and fear. Our experience with religion is aberrant, not as it should be, and I absolutely concur.

But it does occur to me that now, in the 21^st century, it seems that many people have tried to re-grasp those metaphysical-type connections; it seems we have created some new mysteries as well as revisiting some old ones. There have been an increasing number of books in recent years about such topics as relate to our “soul” and our connection to our world and the universe. I think that many of us have been trying to reinvent our perceptions of “God” and the nature of reality.

It was easier when we were less complicated; when we lived in primitive villages and relied on the local “medicine man” or “shaman” to guide us; when we worshiped what we saw around us in nature. But that part of us is still there and some of us are starting to grasp that mystical, magical connection to the universe at large. Some of us still believe in “magic.” I believe that it is important to spend time out in nature in order to feel that “magic” and connectedness.

And it is still possible for us to reach psychological maturity, although the fact that our lives have gotten so easy makes it harder for us to put forth any effort to “grow up.” That has become very obvious to me. And in fact it is one of my greatest frustrations these days – how there are so many people who have not “grown up” or learned how to be responsible and/or use their brains. And many of these people are, of course, raising children – which means we are creating generations of human beings who are effectively children their whole lives. (Just look at our U.S. Congress!)

Prior to reading anything by Joseph Campbell though, I was already coming to some realizations or beliefs, like the idea that when we die, even if our consciousness survives in some way, we do not retain our individual egos. I believe that we simply become part of the “whole” once again. We come from the earth, we return to the earth. Our particles recombine with everything else. But that our consciousness is reabsorbed into the universal consciousness of all of life – of which we are all a part. And that “God” is simply the collective of all of us and all of life – past, present and future. I believe that we each have the ability to partake of the “power” of that universal consciousness; that it is a part of us and we are part of it; that each of us is always a part of the whole and it is an awesome thing. It transcends our limited, individual lives. Each of us contains eternity within us. Continue reading →

Posted in 2014, Books, Onward & Upward, Ruminations | Tagged art, books, history, Literature, NATURE, nonfiction, philosophy, questions, religion, serendipity, spirit | Comments Off

The Petaluma Chorale

Posted on May 11, 2014 by Linda

PetChoralelogo Yesterday (Saturday), I was originally planning to go to my regular monthly writers group meeting, but I found out that it had been canceled. But, in a way this was fortunate: my sister had been given two tickets for a performance by the Petaluma Chorale by a woman in her book group (who is also part of the Chorale). They were giving a performance of Rodgers & Hammerstein.

The Petaluma Chorale Presents Rodgers & Hammerstein in Concert, Saturday, May 10 3:00p

Since I would not be going to my writers group, I decided it would be a fun thing to go to this with my sister (luckily she hadn’t managed to give her other ticket away yet). And they did a wonderful job.

Not only did I enjoy the music, but they also had students from the Petaluma City Ballet there to perform and it was very sweet – both my sister and I in fact got a bit teary watching the girls. I’m not sure why; something to do with the sweet innocence, maybe remembering ourselves at that age. It was just emotional watching them somehow. It was very lovely.

And I enjoyed this performance so much it had me wanting to watch The Sound of Music again! I don’t think I have seen that since I was a little kid! But maybe one of these days when I have nothing better to do, I will pull out the DVD and watch it.

…And I feel bad, because the woman who gave us the tickets has also mentioned to my sister that she would like piano lessons from me — so that she can read the music for her part in the chorale. And I could certainly teach her to read music! I feel bad that I haven’t contacted her yet. I just feel so overwhelmed so much of the time lately and she is not the only one who wants my piano-teaching skills either; I just haven’t managed to fit that into my life these days. But… hopefully soon!

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just some daily mishmash

Posted on May 8, 2014 by Linda

5/8/14

I woke up from a dream this morning with some words ringing in my brain saying “that a Sagittarius is subtle is an oxymoron.” What??? Where did that come from? Who knows. Dreams are strange.

I started physical therapy the other day on my regular doctor’s recommendations. I’ve never done physical therapy before. When I got there, I immediately recognized it as a place I had previously taken my mother. Then as I sat in the waiting area, an elderly, white-haired lady came in with a younger woman, presumably her daughter. And looking at this lady sitting all neat and prim in her chair with her cane in her hand – it hit me like a brick – I could’ve been looking at my own mother. And it sort of shook me up. By the time the therapist came out to get me, I was fighting tears. Five years and will the pain never go away?

My answer to that is, probably not. I don’t think anyone ever fully recovers from losing their mother. Here’s one woman’s thoughts whose sentiments I share. Fear And Grief: ‘When You Lose Your Mother, You Also Lose Your Childhood’.

As for physical therapy, they want me to go 2 or 3 times a week. I am already seeing an acupuncturist and a chiropractor 3 times a week; how in heck am I supposed to do all this? But whatever it takes to get well and functional again.

And lately I’ve been thinking again about my “Bugwump” story. And instead of writing it as a memoir, I’ve been thinking more and more that I might write it as a novel. That was my original plan, in fact. And at least one draft had the main character named “Alice.” I could write it still in first-person and still make it my story, with real facts, etc., but it gives me a little more freedom if I write it as a novel. And what never occurred to me until now is the relevance of the name “Alice.” First of all, the story is going to be a sort of “wonderland” type of tale, and also, my sister told me not long ago that she has always connected “Alice in Wonderland” with me. Interesting. And perhaps one of these days I will begin working on it again.

And it also seems I have a new picture book to work on. It just came to me one day recently and I wrote it down – envisioned the pictures and went out and bought some gold paint for drawing a tree with golden leaves. It is all there – just waiting for me to do it.

But it’s work, work, work – and pain. Running to this doctor or that every darn day. I want my life back!

Digital “Liteacy” Packet

And finally, on another topic – my son is no longer a student with the Academy of Arts and Sciences. Apparently, they cut him loose a couple of weeks ago for failure to turn in any work. Nice of them to tell me after it’s too late to do anything about it. I should’ve known something wasn’t right about this school when they sent me the “Digital Literacy Packet” for him to do – with the word “literacy” misspelled.

So – back to square one on the schooling front. What do we do now? I’m being threatened of being reported to the DA for truancy! Sheesh, nice people. Dalton finally agreed to go forward with this instead of trying to start summer break early only to find out he can’t. And school is so close to being done for the year, what chance do we have to get him in anywhere else? And it makes me neck and shoulder hurt just thinking about it!

Oh what I wouldn’t give for an easy, stress-free life!

(Onward and upward…)

Posted in 2014, Onward & Upward, Ruminations | Tagged goals, grief, health, pain, school, writing | Comments Off

050514

Posted on May 5, 2014 by Linda

Today is my Aunt Ginger’s birthday. I made a card for her and sent it with some Avon products I know she likes. Bless her heart, she probably doesn’t even realize it’s her birthday. And I miss her so much!

It is so hard to watch loved ones grow old, knowing that it’s only a matter of time before you’ll lose them. And the saddest thing of all is the fact of Alzheimer’s. I hope that it’s only a matter of time before we learn how to eradicate this horrible disease.

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Bad Behavior

Posted on May 4, 2014 by Linda

Yesterday evening I was very tired and in pain and, unfortunately, ended up having an argument with my sister that got really ugly. And it was so stupid!

I was at the kitchen sink trimming berries and, instead of paying attention to the water conservation card we have posted above the sink (about the current drought situation) and turning the water off in between each berry, I was just letting it run. When my sister came into the room she said something to me and pointed to the card. And I do not know why it hit me like it did; it’s almost as if I expected her to say something – but I took immediate offense at her presuming to “instruct” me when I am an adult and am in control of my own actions and responsibilities; I would never presume to “instruct” her or challenge her behavior in that way, because she is an adult and it’s her business – and why can’t she give me the same treatment?

But it got totally overblown and ridiculous. There are some things that we just cannot seem to see eye to eye on; we cannot even understand the other’s perspective. And I get so frustrated; I could not seem to stop my crazed behavior. I felt truly hurt and insulted. She felt (rightfully) abused and unfairly yelled at. What a mess.

But I guess the strain of dealing with all this pain and dysfunction and everything else recently just caused me to explode. Luckily it doesn’t happen very often and not even as much as it used to. But it’s weird how I can just go to this place in my head where it all seems so righteously real – but it is a place of pure emotion and it shouldn’t be allowed to take me over like that. It causes me to hurt others and it serves no good purpose that I can see. It’s like a pressure boiler venting or something; maybe sometimes it needs to blow or else it might have other negative consequences to my health or something. I do not know. I know that I generally will not even be aware of emotional stress until I explode in some way or my body “attacks” me. But why did THIS set me off like THAT? It’s so stupid!

And it isn’t my sister; it’s more likely a case of “unfinished business” and old “baggage” on my part. She is who she is and I am not the same as her, but that is fine and I need to be okay with that and not get so defensive! I need to be okay with myself and not feel threatened. But it comes from a long history of feeling like a fuck-up; disapproved of, defective, incapable of doing anything right and just WRONG in other people’s eyes – “other people” being my family. (And isn’t that always the way it is?) Continue reading →

Posted in 2014, Onward & Upward, Ruminations | Tagged anger, family, pain, personal growth, relationships | Comments Off

about PAIN and TAROT…

Posted on May 1, 2014 by Linda

It’s hard to believe it’s May already. I feel like I’ve done nothing this month but work and deal with PAIN. But I think that these new supplements I’ve started taking (thanks to my sister’s efforts to research my problem and find some possible solutions) are actually making a positive difference. It gives me some hope that I will get over this. I still have a lot of pain and dysfunction in my arm and shoulder, but I seem to be feeling better in general, over all. Life feels better somehow; I don’t feel so burdened down with the pain, no more feeling totally in the fog from it, it’s still there but lessened somehow, it doesn’t seem so overwhelming, it’s just there. So this is a happy thing.

I really believe that NATURE has everything we need to keep our bodies strong and healthy. But it is a challenge these days – so much of the food we buy is either lacking nutrition or full of unhealthy chemicals, or both. But since I’ve been taking supplements, I feel so much better in so many ways. A couple of things I am taking now are supposed to be especially good for what ails me:

And here is an article about the benefits of Curcumin in particular; it is good for all sorts of things: LEF.org/Curcumin. Life Extension Foundation, by the way, is an excellent source of natural supplements. The fact that they are non-profit, with the single goal of finding ways to extend our lives and be healthy, means that I trust them (unlike pharmaceutical companies who are out to make a profit at all costs).

So I am trying to get healthy, trying to spend time resting every day. And one thing I’ve been doing lately while resting is looking at these Tarot cards I recently bought, along with this book to teach me how to use them. It’s just kind of a cool, interesting thing – a little sideline “hobby” I guess. It’s interesting to learn about the history of tarot. That is my main interest – besides which the cards are so pretty, so cool! And they are, at the least, a good distraction from my PAIN…

Universal Tarot Cards

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May 1st

Posted on May 1, 2014 by Linda

The month of May was named for the Greek goddess Maia, who was identified with the Roman era goddess of fertility, Bona Dea, whose festival was held in May. Conversely, the Roman poet Ovid provides a second etymology, in which he says that the month of May is named for the maiores, Latin for “elders,” and that the following month (June) is named for the iuniores, or “young people.” (Wikipedia.com)

I could not really find anything very meaningful to base this month’s “31-point-plan” on, but as I was sitting outside the other day and looking at the backyard with everything blooming I got inspired.

So this month’s picture is in honor of my own backyard – and I’m including photos – my art doesn’t begin to do it justice (I really didn’t have much time this month to work on this either, so I’m lucky it’s as good as it is!):

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Bird by Bird

Posted on April 30, 2014 by Linda

November 2003

I have just finished reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. I think I got a lot more out of it than when I first read it about ten years ago. She is such a gifted writer. I saw her in November of 2003 at which time I had her sign the book for me. But I didn’t really remember much about the book until I just now re-read it.

She starts out talking about growing up in a family of book-lovers; her father was a writer and gave her such advice as this – which I should definitely pay attention to: He says to “do it as you would do scales on the piano [and I certainly know what that is like, personally], do it as a debt of honor. And make a commitment to finishing things.” How I could have used that advice at a young age. I still have trouble finishing things! Writing takes patience and perseverance. And those things take discipline. None of which have ever been strong points for me.

And she says that “publication is not all that it’s cracked up to be… but writing is,” – writing is its own reward. (But “never start a large writing project on a Monday in December” because you’ll be setting yourself up for failure.)

She talks of being given “the gift of loving to read with the same kind of passion with which we love nature,” and that writing brings much joy and much challenge, that it is “work and play together.” She speaks of “seeing the world through new eyes” and the feeling of catching a riding a wave – to feel better and more alive than at any other time. And these are all sentiments that I know to be true. And she, like other writers I have read, says that writing is about telling the truth. “We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are.”

Flannery O’Connor said that anyone who survived childhood has enough material to write for the rest of his or her life, and Anne repeats that here. And she attests to the fact that it can feel very overwhelming to try to sort out and make sense of all that “material” inside us. But, “you try to sit down at approximately the same time every day. This is how you train your subconscious to kick in for you creatively.”

She says that if one of your heart’s deepest longings is to write, then there are ways to get your work done and she goes on to list those ways (“short assignments and shitty first drafts.”).

I like where she says that “very few writers really know what they’re doing until they’ve done it.” Just get it down on paper (where have we heard that before?) and quotes Vonnegut who said “when I write I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.” I love it. LOL

She goes on to talk about characters and how to make sure they are “likable;” and that one should mostly let the characters do what they will. I have experienced this actually: I know what it’s like to have characters gain a life of their own and take off. It is very cool.

Then she talks about plot. I was happy to read what she said about worrying about the characters instead of the plot; that the plot comes through relationships. She says you can have a sort of temporary destination in mind, but that it will likely change before the end of it. And that makes sense too.

Just like art, writing is also about seeing, seeing into the truth of things, the bare bones of what things are. It requires paying attention, being clear. She says, “There is ecstasy in paying attention.” (Thus the allure of the ADHD meds.) And, “To be a good writer, you not only have to write a great deal, but you have to care.” “You get your confidence and intuition by trusting yourself” and “Rationality squeezes out much that is rich and juicy and fascinating.” (And this is one of the drawbacks to those ADHD meds.)

I liked her idea about using index cards all the time to jot down any and all things and perceptions as they arrive so much that I went out and bought a whole big stack of different colored index cards. I have not, of course, opened them yet. And Anne Lamott‘s final thoughts were about asking for help when needed – people can be a wealth of needful information – and to believe thoroughly in yourself.

I highlighted so many things in this book – I just loved everything about it. Lots of good advice, lots of straight-on Truth. And it’s good that I am gleaning all of this information and these insights from good writers, but when it comes down to it, I just need to sit down and WRITE.

I have read several of Anne Lamott’s books over the years and enjoyed them all; she is a gem of a writer and someone whom I would love to actually know personally – which is not really that far-fetched in light of the fact that she lives here – but still, yes, not a real possibility. LOL

But perhaps someday my paths will cross those of other writers; perhaps even accomplished, successful writers. You just never know.

Posted in 2014, Books, Ruminations | Tagged books, writing | Comments Off

042714

Posted on April 27, 2014 by Linda

I’ve been spending some time looking through this book of Charles Vess‘ artwork, which I love, and thinking about drawing. And I ended up getting a little depressed and discouraged. But I know it’s stupid to try to even begin to compare my art with someone who’s been drawing daily for many, many years. Even though I could’ve been drawing for 50 years, I have not; I have barely started. And I still don’t draw every day by any means. The only thing I do mostly every day is to write in my journal. But perhaps some day I won’t have all the responsibilities I have now and will have the time to spend hours every day drawing. The thing to remember is that it gives me joy to do what I do and I should not judge the work. There is no reason to.

And as I look at all my drawings I realize how I have struggled and just how inexperienced I am. My “Purvis” illustrations are far from perfect; I was just re-learning how to draw. But they do not need to be “perfect,” there is no such thing really, anyway. And if that book never sells, it doesn’t mean there won’t be something else that does. It feels kind of like birthing babies – putting your work out there into the world, it’s scary. But I need to just keep working and not judge.

I’ve also been reading Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird – I love her writing, and she’s so funny. So REAL. I just read a section she wrote about “jealousy,” saying that all creatives are probably subject to those feelings at times. I understand that. But I often feel like I need another lifetime in order to accomplish what I want. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time and life is so short. But it does me no good to feel that way. I have always tended to feel pressure in terms of time passing, like I always need to hurry up, get things done before I run out of time. I don’t know why. There is always time and a lot of things can happen in a short period of time. I need to focus on the NOW; that is the only way to be. I always have NOW and can generally choose how I want to spend it.

I always seem to have a lot to do, but I really would like to see myself draw daily, like I journal daily – even if I have a lot to do, I ought to be able to do that. I think part of the problem is that it takes two totally different mindsets to do my accounting work, which is total left-brained stuff, and art and writing, which is completely right-brained. It’s a big transition to make and, with ADHD, transitions of any kind are difficult at best. I get totally immersed in one thing and can’t easily make the switch to something different. Sometimes taking a little cat-nap in between seems to help.

I’ve been working mostly 7 days a week lately with all this work. It’s been too hard to try to engage my brain with creative things. But I know it would make me feel better if I could manage to give myself a little more balance these days. And I have all these unfinished creative goals that are hanging there in my head.

Back in 2009 and 2010 when I was first making that “magical” discovery that I could draw, I was drawing every day, even if it was just doodling, and it felt marvelous, like I was floating on Cloud 9. It felt similar to those times in the past when I temporarily dropped everything to focus purely on writing fiction (until I ran out of money and had to go back to work). I just have a hard time doing more than one type of thing in a day. But, I just need to keep my goals in mind and do the best I can.

When I let so much time go by without drawing though, it makes it extra hard to get back into it. It would be better if I would at least “practice” every day. And that is how I will get better and be able to do it more easily. Otherwise it feels like I am always trying to reinvent the wheel. So why couldn’t I do some kind of drawing “exercise” every day, similar to my daily journal writing. Just give myself some topic, like a writing prompt, only something to draw. It could be anything and it doesn’t have to be “perfect” or a finished, polished piece of art, it would just be practice. I could use that “visual journal” that I have and have never really gotten into the practice of using for any good purpose. All my artwork always feels like it has to be a completed piece of work, I never draw just to DRAW. I would expect that most artists draw all the time. I did that when I was a little kid. But I think it was ADHD that made it hard for me to ever focus on one thing in order to draw it. I so often couldn’t decide what to draw and would give up in frustration.

And I guess that very thing is what made my life so full of frustration and emptiness. I would give up trying because of my inability to simply CHOOSE. And I was miserable. I used to blame that misery on my parents and on the religion – but it was really just my BUGWUMP (aka ADHD).

And I really NEED to write that book (re “Bugwump”). If I can just get my crazy brain to BEHAVE! But this crazy brain is MINE and it’s all I have!

Onward & upward….

Posted in 2014, Books, Onward & Upward, Ruminations | Tagged ADD/HD, art, Balance, books, creativity, goals, TIME, writing | Comments Off