QUITTING

The first time I successfully managed to quit smoking in any serious way, was in October of 2009.  I decided to try Acupuncture after hearing some positive comments, and so I made arrangements to do their 3-treatment stop smoking plan on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

On my first visit to the clinic, I had some difficulty understanding the Chinese doctor, and as he was describing to me the nature of nicotine addiction and how the treatment worked, I somehow thought I heard him say “chipmunk” instead of “treatment.”  Well I knew immediately that he didn’t really say “chipmunk,” but it gave me this vision of a nicotine-crazed chipmunk in my head!  And so all the while I was lying there with needles in my head, I was picturing this crazy junkie chipmunk dancing around demanding nicotine and decided that all I needed to do was to KILL the chipmunk and so end my addiction.  Whatever works, right?  

Well I managed to QUIT and stay quit for close to six months; but in March of 2010 (due to my embarking on the scary but exciting dating scene – and the fact that I ended up dating someone who also smoked), well, I started smoking again.  But I was determined to follow through with this goal, which had become so very important to me, so once again I went to the Acupuncture clinic and was able to quit smoking again in August of 2010.  I had a couple of failed attempts during this time though, and was so very unhappy that the “Chipmunk” was back!

  I killed the Chipmunk.
I cut the strings.
And yes, I was even given wings. I thought I could fly, but I’m earthbound again.
Still stuck in my chains of addiction.

 © leb 2009-2013

As of August, 2010, I managed to stay QUIT for a year and a half.  I was happily a non-smoker – until March of 2012 – around the time that my son and I had to move out of our house and in here with my sister.  (The hardest part of all that was the fact that her husband was still here and had not left, and it was not a comfortable situation.)

But here it is:  February 4, 2013, and I am once again quitting – hopefully for the last time!  Yes, I visited the Acupuncturist again.  And yes, I thought once again about the “chipmunk.”  And it occurred to me this time, as I lay there once again with needles in my head that perhaps “killing the chipmunk” was not the right thing to do.  For one thing, it didn’t seem possible to actually kill it; it would probably come back over and over again given the opportunity, no matter how many times I “killed” it!  And, after all, this “chipmunk” is actually a part of me, a nicotine-addicted part of me.

I now pictured this “chipmunk” with needles stuck in him, whimpering and cowering. Why don’t I try to comfort this “chipmunk,” encourage it, strengthen it, and heal it?  Show compassion instead of violence?  That certainly sounds like the better plan.  Think:  A strong, healthy chipmunk is better than a poor, sick, junkie of a chipmunk – who won’t, in fact, die anyway!  

Last Friday was my 3rd treatment.  And at this point I realized I was picturing this “chipmunk” jumping for joy, chains broken, free at last.  Wow, that is something!  And perhaps we can say here “the third time is the charm.”  One thing that has come to my attention:  Perhaps I should beware of MARCH!  

Onward and Upward…

 

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One Response to QUITTING

  1. Linda says:

    April 2, 2013 – SO FAR SO GOOD; STILL NOT SMOKING!

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