12/10/2008

Ugh, I’m sick.  I’ve got a bloody, nasty, miserable cold and I have no idea where I got it. But I do hope neither Mother nor Dalton succumbs.   And I also hope I get over it quickly.  No good to get sick as a Mom.  Can’t just stay in bed; still have to take care of responsibilities.

Mother has been extremely “chatty” today.  I wonder if she’s taking pain killers or something.  You know – it doesn’t seem like she used to always be so annoying like she’s become.  I don’t know, poor thing – she doesn’t have much in her life these days except for pain.  I guess the procedure yesterday didn’t work.  The next step may just be a pain pump.  Which goes against my – what, ethics?  What I mean is that I see all these people, particularly women, getting in these situations where they become reliant on pain meds.  And my belief is that it would be so much better to find and deal with the underlying cause of the pain, at the root, and fix it.  Otherwise you’re just dooming yourself to everlasting problems.  And drugs are rarely the solution.  Our bodies are strong and designed to heal themselves.  Drugs often only poison us.  And so often, I think, the mind causes sickness in the body:  Denial, anger, fear.  But Mother, at her age, really has small chance of combating what ails her; too many years of misuse, or rather DISUSE.  Her body has atrophied.  There’s no strength in it.  Yet her immune function seems to be fairly strong.

I believe our immune systems are capable of a lot if we take care of ourselves.  Not just what we put into our bodies, but equally important is how we use our bodies.  We need to move, be strong, and breathe the air.  Get our hearts pumping, move the blood and oxygen through our veins.  Feel the muscles, the ligaments, our joints and bones.  And what I believe is most important of all is how we think – the “psycho-chemical connection.”  We need to be happy, feel fulfilled and vibrant and alive.  Get those endorphins pumping, which serve to fuel us all over.  We need to keep our brains alive and stimulated, always learning and experiencing new things.  I believe we need love and fellowship to be fully happy and healthy; we are not meant to be alone and isolated.  We need to always feel our connection to each other, to the planet, the grass and the trees, the animals – we are all made of the same things.  We are all a part of our Universe.  The power of the Universe – that is God, to me – our entire collective consciousness, and it is at our disposal to heal us, strengthen us, and inspire us.   And that is very powerful.

Here I am sick, yet I believe I can tap into the power of the entire Universe, of which I am a part, and actually be well right now if I really wanted it, if I really believed it.  Which I do, or believe I do.

So for what reason would I choose to stay sick?  Do we sometimes get sick because we need a break, a time-out, a vacation?  I wouldn’t doubt it; kind of silly actually.  But we humans can be so silly about so many things.

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