Birthday, Books, etc.

I read the last of my recently checked-out library books this month in about three days: Robert Silverberg’s “Longest Way Home.”

It was interesting; reminded me in some ways of this novel idea I’ve had going in my head, relating to large family units on another planet, etc.

I haven’t read many of his books; perhaps I should try some others.  I finished this book on my birthday (December 5th).

I had a pretty decent birthday, nothing fancy.  I took my son out to eat for dinner.  My sister gave me some lovely flowers and a pair of leggings.

I thought I was content, but on Friday I decided to stop for a beer or two at Aqus.  Perhaps I was feeling some kind of lack.  What I realized is that I was feeling particularly lonely.  It happens now and then.

I sat there looking at all the people – there was a table full of teachers near me and as I heard bits of their conversations, something about it disturbed me and brought up all this icky school stuff that I’ve been dealing with.  I started thinking about how screwed up things seem.  And as I gazed around, wishing there was someone I could just sit and talk to, it suddenly started occurring to me that perhaps I just do not FIT here.  And then I started feeling like I don’t seem to really FIT anywhere anymore.  What happened to having friends to hang out with?  Why am I always alone?  And I started feeling so meaningless and old and stupid.  And when I got home, and found that both my son and my sister were holed up in their respective rooms, no sign that anyone even knew I was gone – well it just hit me hard and I got really depressed.  And my state of mind was such that, despite not having but two beers, I started feeling sick and dizzy and ended up throwing up in the bathroom.  Not good.

But I guess it isn’t that uncommon to have strange emotions around one’s birthday; especially when you’ve been alive for so many decades of birthdays it defies belief.  I’ll get over it.

And I just now have finished reading a very, very good and amazing book:  Fingersmith, by Sarah Waters.

“Oliver Twist with a twist…Waters spins an absorbing tale that withholds as much as it discloses. A pulsating story.”The New York Times Book Review

The next book I am going to read is The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco.  I have heard of this book a lot, but never thought to read it until my sister informed me she has a copy.  How I love a good book!

(Feeling better already).

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