A nearly life-long challenge for me has always been being able to plan my days in such a way that I take care of the things I need to do while also having time to do the things I want to do (probably most people experience this same challenge at times). But more than that, I have trouble “changing gears.” In other words, when I am working on a particular project or endeavor, I am apt to become overly-obsessed with what I am doing and let everything else fall by the wayside. I have always been guilty of either working too hard and not doing anything for fun, or else “playing” too hard and not being responsible. I have at times found myself at the end of a month without any time billed for working – and that obviously has a very detrimental affect on my financial situation and well-being. And it is quite shocking to realize that I have actually forgotten to work!
I have tried a number of different schedule variations with different degrees of success (or failure) and little by little I seem to be getting a better handle on it by observing and learning what works best for me.
Where I have seen some success lately has been my ability to do this Blog, keep myself working for the most part (and see better financial management because of it), as well as being able to draw and spend time in ways that I choose. But I do have setbacks. About a month or so ago I had started writing this post when it came to my awareness that all the time I had been spending putting this Blog together had been done at the expense of doing anything else. I had not been working very much, and, much to my distress, I found I had not done any drawing AT ALL during this time. I have a tendency to try to take a task all the way to “completion” before being able to start on or work on anything else. This is what I want to change.
So I had started out writing this post around the middle of last month, calling it “Stuckness” because after getting to a point where my Blog was “complete” (other than writing new updates on a regular basis and on which I’d determined I would only spend time one day a week), I found I was “stuck” and couldn’t maneuver myself back to my other goals, i.e., to draw, and to start working on the garage. It was a situation in which I asked myself, ‘ok now where was I?’ and found it was too hard for me to “go back.” I, pretty much, only operate in the Present. But why be constantly reinventing the wheel by setting myself the same goals all the time, only to work on one and forget the rest?
Well I didn’t write that post then, and I did get past my “stuckness” – first by being slammed with client work, and then finding myself starting on a new drawing that I have been enjoying doing, and with my determination to ensure I lived in “balance” like I want to, I created a new system for myself, setting specific days wherein I would focus on one particular task or endeavor and then have time left over to “tweak” where necessary. And so far, so good. I haven’t yet started to work on the garage, but I am seeing how and when I can fit time in for this without sacrificing anything. And I intend to apply myself to that task seriously over the summer.
Basically, I am setting myself the directive to DRAW and do creative projects on Mondays. Then, Tuesdays and Thursdays are for CLIENT WORK. Fridays, I am going to WRITE, meaning Blog posts or whatever other writing tasks I decide. And Wednesdays, I will designate for errands, grocery shopping, and whatever odds and ends I need to attend to, with a goal to also DRAW if possible (and/or perhaps an “Artist Date”). Then on Saturdays I will attend to housework-type chores and anything that I feel I have neglected to give enough attention to during the week. Sundays I want to leave open as much as possible for R&R and family, or whatever I determine that is fun and pleasurable.
The idea here is that it is flexible, as it must be, but yet gives me a built-in system to ensure that all things get attention. And there is plenty of time and room for flexibility without me “wasting my days” and not accomplishing anything due to being so “scattered.” So far, so good. I think I like it.
Well. Then something else popped into my life.
Art and Writing have always been my passions but for years were completely neglected. My primary goal has been to reincorporate these things into my life. But there is one more thing that was always also part of these things. There is music – specifically piano. From the time I was a child, it was always Art, Writing, and Piano. And I have not played for many years. When I was 16, I was advanced enough to teach, according to my last teacher. But I quit for lack of knowing where to go with it and because of the same kind of mental block that rendered me in denial of and unable to draw or write.
But not only do I now have a piano at my disposal, (even though I haven’t yet availed myself of it), but I now have at least one person who is urging me to play – and she really wants me to give her lessons.
I started thinking about this seriously the other day after talking with her. And I have come to the conclusion that there is no good reason not to do this. I have the time, I have the ability, and I would be doing something that has been a life-long goal! This has landed in my lap and it is like the Universe has placed something in my path that I have long dreamed of. And I didn’t even see it until it suddenly is so clearly in front of my face.
My first thought was – how on earth will I fit one more thing into my complicated schedule? BUT, I realized – I have plenty of time. There is no reason that I can see why I couldn’t take ½ hour every afternoon and dedicate it to playing the piano and relearning what I have forgotten. And I do not believe it would take very long before I am able to take on this student. I would be making her very happy and earning a bit of extra money for myself. And it could bring many, many rewards.
So here I am: I can Work, Draw, Write, and Play the Piano (and teach!). And still have time for chores and housework, for unpacking the garage, for anything and everything else I might want to do. I have CHOICE. I have the ability to see my dreams become reality. I have always believed it (somewhat) but now I can see it actually happening. What a wonderful thing!
So I am NOT STUCK. I am ECSTATIC.
Funny – when I turned over my Mary Engelbreit calendar this morning, it shows a C. S. Lewis quote: “You are never too old to set another goal or dream another dream.” HOW APPROPRIATE FOR ME.