Goals Group at Molly’s. I chose as my “witness of intentions” this item, which belonged to my maternal grandfather – I have always loved this thing. It is sculpted out of brass and hangs on the wall.
Elephants represent to me:
- Strength and Wisdom
- Love and Loyalty – Enduring
- Gentle Dignity
And we were also asked to bring a photo of ourselves. I chose this one of me at three years old. I actually remember always begging to be taught to play the piano. I started taking lessons at age 6. I stopped playing at about 18 yrs. old and forever after experienced an inability to play…
But today, one of the things Molly had us do is to use PENNIES to see how we spend our time. The way this works is this: Say you have a finite number of pennies and these represent the time, energy, and resources that you have on any given day. Then you put pennies into various categories indicating where your time and energy goes until your pennies are all gone. The more time and energy, etc., that you expend in a certain activity, for example, the more pennies you would put in that area.
I found that about 40% of my pennies went into “Relationships.” This is obviously due to the fact that most of my resources go towards raising my son and caring for my mother. It leaves very little for much else. And I now realized that there is a fair amount of Negative Energy being consumed here in my fretting and worrying about others’ needs too much. I need more Balance. But my motivation is out of love, loyalty, and duty and I am satisfied at present to spend most of my “pennies” in this way, although there is some resentment from time to time.
Another large portion of my pennies went into “finance/money” as Negative Energy. I expend a lot of energy on worry, fear, and frustration. I estimated about 30% here.
Another area where I found that I use a lot of Negative Energy, thus taking up a lot of “pennies” is in the area of “home/physical environment.” And this is due to my dissatisfaction with the chaos and lack of order and organization and also due to there being just simply way too much “stuff” and not enough space. I have conflict about this because I feel very grateful to have this house but I am really not very happy with it. I spend a fair amount of time wishing for a better situation and not enough time trying to work on trying to make it better. I feel that I’m too busy trying to be responsible and take care of everyone else.
I spent very few pennies in the areas of “career,” “entertainment/social,” or “creativity,” the latter two much to my distress, and the first one much to my financial detriment.
After this exercise (during which I suffered a minor emotional meltdown due to how distressing I found it), we then compared the penny results to the “Wheel of Life” to see how much satisfaction we get from the things we spend the most pennies on. It’s pretty obvious I do not have a lot of satisfaction in my life currently.
The next exercise was to answer the question “What does your heart long for?” by telling someone else for 8 minutes. And these are the things I listed:
- a sense of purpose
- freedom to be me
- a new house and a new car
- to express my gifts and share them with the world – to be a published author
- for somebody to really know me and love me and to be at peace with who I am
- to know what I want
- to get so time is not my enemy so I don’t feel like I am going to miss my life or get old and die before I know how to live
- to be able to feel like I have really done a good job at something, to feel satisfaction
- to get my Power back
- for Clarity – a clear direction
And finally, to ask ourselves the following:
- What attributes will I need to work on this year to attain these intentions?
- What are some concrete steps to take in order to manifest my goals?
- What might I have to let go of – that’s hindering me?
- What risks might I have to take?
- What will help me feel ready to risk?
Important stuff here. Lots to think about.